I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
