Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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