I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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