I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
