at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just gift wrapped bread.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
