Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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