i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
