Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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