That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
it's like heaven, but drunker
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
