I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
