You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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