its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
do herpes really smell.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
