The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
