apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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