I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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