I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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