we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
