Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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