Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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