i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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