I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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