In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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