her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
