You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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