i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
