Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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