He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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