cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
