so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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