I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
