did you get engaged???
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
