i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
