you would pick up someone in the library
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
