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she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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