Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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