booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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