you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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