Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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