the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
