Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
