My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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