Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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