ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
