Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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