I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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