Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
