Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize