I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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