a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
