She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
