The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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