You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
