If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
