my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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