I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
