yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
your thong is hanging out like whoa
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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