It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
