Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
