It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
