she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
