it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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